“I Was Watching Him Commit Suicide In Slow Motion”: A Mother Recalls Her Son’s Experience With Radicalization

by Yuval Levi

Ari has always been a sensitive, empathetic kid. Diagnosed with autism and ADHD at a young age, he developed early passions for animals and music. “Among the nursery songs, he was listening to Woody Guthrie," his mother, Dana, recalls.

Dana was strict about technology usage while Ari was growing up. “I believe really strongly in going outside and riding your bike, hands-on activities,” she says, noting that Ari was never allowed to have social media. “But here we are.”

At the end of eighth grade, Ari began to struggle with his mental health. Social difficulties combined with his parents’ divorce resulted in what Dana describes as “a very tumultuous time for him.” This was also when Dana was first alerted to Ari self-harming

Despite therapy and antidepressants, Ari’s condition worsened. “He was dressing in a very extreme way, listening to a lot of black metal. He wasn’t that happy kid anymore.” She gradually noticed satanic symbols on his clothing, including number combinations associated with Nihilistic Violent Extremist Groups such as 764 and Order of Nine Angles, 

“He was getting curious about Satanic stuff. He started researching it and talking about it.” Dana recalls. She says Ari began making disturbing comments under his breath about violence and self harm. Dana calls this “leakage,” a term used to describe how individuals moving towards violent extremism signal their mental state to those around them. “He literally looked like he was being hypnotized. He was saying things like ‘there needs to be anarchy, all the governments need to fall, blood is going to be shed.”

After Ari’s sister discovered a large hunting knife in his room, Dana rushed Ari to the hospital. Despite extensive signs of self harm, Ari was classified as a moderate suicide risk and Dana was instructed to take him home. 

Instead, Dana insisted Ari be transferred to another facility. “If I hadn't been proactive about getting my kid help, he’d be dead. He probably would have killed himself that night.” 

Around that time, Dana received a call from police regarding an FBI bulletin about the group 764. According to the bulletin, 764 is a network that uses social media communication platforms to exploit vulnerable youth by exposing them to extreme and abusive content. Dana was told Ari was likely involved with the network and that “she had caught this right on time.” 

Dana recalls seeing some of the content her 14-year-old son was consuming. “I looked at one website.” she says. “I had nightmares for a year.”

“I spoke to Parents for Peace the following day. When they found out he was in the hospital, they escalated their level of involvement. They were the only ones that had a clue what I was talking about.”

Parents for Peace recommended a 30 to 90-day hospital stay and complete digital detox. However, the hospital planned to discharge Ari after just 10 days. “The hospital staff were bullying him for being a satanist.” Dana said. “But I didn't know what other hospital to take him to because no one knew what we were dealing with.” 

“With the help of Parents for Peace, I basically took my whole house down to hospital safety level.” Dana recalls. She removed furniture, cords and even window blinds, enforcing a complete technology detox. 

“Parents for Peace were on speed dial for the first month. I was having weekly phone calls with them, sometimes even multiple times per week.” Eventually, Dana got Ari admitted into a partial hospitalization program, where he started individual and group therapy. She and Ari also worked with Parents for Peace’s interventionists. “He really enjoyed that because he could talk to someone who’d been there.”

“Ari is doing much better.”

“He has not fully processed what has happened,” Dana notes, but adds that Ari has switched to a smaller school and now uses a flip phone. “Getting rid of his phone was the best thing he’d ever done for his mental health." Today, Ari is part of a garage band with his new group of friends. “People talk about how polite he is!” Dana added. 

“There’s this thing with parents where they think ‘I’ve raised my kids a certain way, so this would never happen to my kid.’ Well, guess what? I thought that too.” Dana stresses that violent extremism isn’t confined to one political ideology. “They figure out how to get to your kid. Ari was told doing blood rituals would help him save the earth. He thought it was about saving the environment and that’s always been a big thing for him.” 

“My son is a success story. He’s still alive.” Dana remarks. “But if I could give other parents a piece of advice, it would be to take away your kid’s phone and replace it with real life connections, activities, and experiences.”